Thou Shalt Not Steal Thy Neighbor's Doormat

My next door neighbor is high functioning but developmentally challenged. He is part of a group of people who are in a treatment program but live on their own, and some of them live in the apartment complex where I am currently staying while in school. They have counselors who come to check on them several times a day and pick them up for daily activities. My neighbor is middle aged, very nice, and loves talking to everyone. Frequently when I am either leaving my apartment or coming back from somewhere he will be waiting there, hoping to strike up a conversation. Once he engages you in a conversation, all I can say is I hope you don’t have anywhere to be, he could talk for hours if you let him. Recently he told me that he thought someone was stealing things in the complex, and he seemed pretty worked up about it. I believe this person is actually another member in his program.

Yesterday, I heard two people having a conversation right outside my door. I could hear my neighbor, as he has a very distinct voice, and he seemed pretty upset. When I went to go look out the window I saw he was talking to a police officer. My neighbor apparently called the police to report that his doormat was stolen. When the officer arrived she began to ask him typical questions that cops ask, how long ago did you get it… when did you realize it was gone... what does it look like... was there any pattern on it…? My assumption is that she realized the situation and that my neighbor was not all there in the head, so her questions were not very helpful. It seemed more like it was just her main goal to try to calm him down, understanding that it was a doormat that was missing and there was probably nothing she could do about it.

Eventually the cop asked my neighbor if he knew who did it, and he immediately said, “Yes, he lives in 199,” referring to the apartment number. My neighbor explained that this person has stolen a lot of things, such as a plastic chair and that he goes through the garbage looking for things. She asked what his name was then asked if he could spell the last name of the ‘suspect’, but my neighbor said that he couldn’t spell or read. Then he started to explain that the mat was a present from his aunt and that his aunt was upset when he told her someone stole it. His aunt told him that he had rights and that they should be able to search the person’s apartment, so this is what he conveyed to the cop. At this point, the police officer had had enough and told my neighbor to just not talk to the ‘culprit’ and she would look into the problem. My neighbor said he wouldn’t talk to him but would be watching, as if to catch him in the act.

Though I do not know if there really is a robber on the loose, it is hard to take my neighbor seriously; I know he probably does not have any reason to lie, but let’s be real, he is not the most credible source for information. Anyway, I thought this was amusing because not only did my neighbor report a missing doormat, I believe the person he was accusing is someone in his treatment program. Never in my life would I imagine that a stolen doormat would be reported to the police, but I guess anything is possible… maybe this was a really nice doormat, who knows? My neighbor said that he was going to be on the look out and would let the cop know if he sees any criminal activity. The bad news here is my neighbor is probably never going to see his doormat again; the good news is I now have a security unit looking out for robbers.

A Year In Review

As we come to the end of the decade, it is astonishing to think about how many American celebrities either passed away or were caught doing something frowned upon in society. Whether it was athletes, actors or singers, I feel like 2009 was a curse for the rich and famous. In my opinion, I would currently consider the top 5 most famous or well-known Americans internationally to be Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson and Michael Phelps (though Michael Jordan could easily replace anyone in the top 5). Yes, there are specific actors, musicians or other celebrities that are extremely well-known, but there is no doubt in my mind that most, if not all of these people would be recognized by the majority of people in other nations.

Out of the five, three did not have great luck in 2009. Michael Jackson, the king of pop, and quite possibly the most famous person world-wide tragically passed away at the age of 50 as he was preparing for a comeback tour. Tiger Woods, the greatest golfer ever and one of the most famous people in the world first got into a car accident, then later admitted he was unfaithful in his marriage. Michael Phelps, who some consider the greatest Olympian of all time (at least in terms of gold medals won), was caught doing drugs at a party.

Other athletes/coaches who suffered (due to their own mistakes or not) in 2009 include: Michael Vick (football player who finished serving his prison sentence for dog fighting), Charlie Davies (soccer player who was injured badly in a fatal car accident), Rick Pitino (college basketball coach who had an affair then was almost extorted by the woman he cheated with), Alex Rodriguez (baseball player who was accused of and later admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs after previously denying it—on a side note, his Yankee teammate Andy Pettitte also admitted to using PED’s), Arturo Gatti (boxer who passed away in a Brazilian hotel at the age of 37), Chris Henry (football player who passed away after falling off a moving truck at the age of 26), Steve McNair (football player who was murdered by his girlfriend at the age of 36), and Chuck Daly (professional basketball coach who passed away at the age of 78).

In terms of actors and entertainers, the list of those who tragically passed away includes: Farrah Fawcett (62), Patrick Swayze (57), Walter Cronkite (92), Edward McMahon (86), Brittany Murphy (32), Billy Mays (50), Adam “DJ AM” Goldstein (36) and David Carradine (72). Though some seemed to live a full life, too many were taken at such an early age.

In addition, David Letterman had to deal with an extortion attempt in relation to a prior affair, rapper T.I. was sentenced on weapon charges and fellow rapper Lil’ Wayne was arrested on weapons charges in 2009. Of course this list does not include everyone, but it is fairly comprehensive and shows how much American celebrities are probably happy this year has come to an end.

SAID KIPTYN

This week my aunt and uncle came to visit my family at the beach. As we were watching an old episode of Friends, my sister stated that she thought Reid from The Bachelorette looked like Matthew Perry. For those of us who did not know who Reid was or what he looked like, my sister got a magazine to show us a picture. In the magazine there was a picture of the final three contestants with a question "Who did you want Jillian to pick?" Under each guy, there was a percentage showing what each of them received in the vote. As it read in the magazine, "19% SAID ED", "41% SAID REID", and "40% SAID KIPTYN". When my sister gave the magazine to my uncle, he briefly looked at Reid, then looked at Kiptyn and stated, "There was 40% for Sa-eed Kiptyn, it sounds like he should be on Lost." (Referring to a character named Sayid on the popular ABC drama.) I don't think anyone really heard what he said besides me, and when he gave me the magazine to see what Reid looked like, I quickly realized he thought 'SAID' was Kiptyn's first name. Laughing to myself, I gave the magazine back to him and told him to try again with the name. When he realized his mistake he started laughing hysterically, and everyone else started laughing even though they didn't know what had just transpired; after explaining what happened everyone broke into hysterical laughter with my silly uncle.

The Dutchess

My friends and I bought a sailboat together a few years ago (as displayed in the main picture on this blog). This was done to give us something to do as a group during the summer, and hopefully summers to come in the future. The first summer was great, we went out almost every weekend and couldn't have had more fun. But the past couple years we unfortunately were unable to take the boat out at all. We basically neglected the boat to the point that it was almost unusable. The cabin of the boat was flooded from rain, and due to this, there was mold, rotted wood, rust and bugs who decided to make it their home. The trailer was in even worse condition, it is rusting/breaking apart, the tires are dead/shredded and the jack is broken. Finally, the rudder is disintegrated and the metal is rusted and coming apart; this is particularly bad because you need it to steer the boat. It was not because we didn't want to take care of it and use it in the summers, my friends and I just had other things going on in our lives and we never got around to it.

But this is the summer of resurrection. Though two of the original buyers have given up their ownership rights, the three remaining owners have vowed to restore the boat and take her out for a ride. As part of our plans for the boat's future, we have decided to take off all the lines, ropes and mast to turn it into a semi-motor boat. The lines were tangled/broken, the ropes were torn apart and we decided it would be too much work/money to turn it back into a sailboat. Though now our only option is to use the motor to ride around, we used to just take it out to a random location, anchor, and drink/eat/swim. Sailing is fun, I really enjoyed it, but we will have just as much fun simply using the motor to get around. This will be much less work and hopefully less problems to worry about in the future.

Right now we are in the process of having a rudder made for us, and we are searching for a trailer that will fit the boat. We really did not know how much work, time and money we would have to invest in order to maintain the boat. As my grandfather likes to say, “The two happiest days of a boat owner's life are the day he buys his boat and the day he sells it.” It is possible that phrase may soon become a reality for us, so if it doesn't work out for one reason or another, and we have already taken our final trip on the "Dutchess", the experience was one hell of a ride.

Lesson Learned

Last night I was watching the Yankees game, a subway series against the Mets at Citi Field. My father came in during the middle of the game to get an update and catch some of the action. After finding out the score in the bottom of the 5th inning (4-0), he commented "So Sabathia must be pitching pretty well." In response I told him that he was actually throwing a no-hitter to that point. Right after I said that I continued, "Oh man, now that I said that Sheffield is probably going to hit a home run." The next pitch that C.C. threw was crushed to left field for a solo HR making the score 4-1 and breaking up his no-hitter/perfect game. From that point on, every hit the Mets got was blammed on me and deservedly so. I learned my lesson, it is an unwritten rule to never talk about a no-hitter, you can think about it but just don't say it out loud.

Typical Day At The Office

Today at work it seemed like I was on the show "The Office". The people I work with are pretty funny and like to joke around with each other, this helps keep everyone's spirits up and makes the day more enjoyable. One salesman in particular seems like he is always having a good time and likes to pull pranks on his co-workers. Today he called a woman in the Accounting department, asked if it was Thursday, then said "Ok thanks bye" and acted like he was going to hang up. Later, while talking to the woman, he was inquiring about a sales order from a company called Odim. The woman either didn't hear what he said or didn't quite understand so he explained, "Odim, you know, like I was out with the boys and I owed em.” It may have been one of those times you had to be there to appreciate it, but his conversation was on speaker phone so we could hear everything. My other co-workers actually started crying because they were laughing so much.

Later on in the day, the salesman needed help with something on the computer, so he called someone from the IT department. They concluded that it would be easier for the IT employee to come to the Sales department to help with the issue so, while he was on his way, the salesman turned off the lights and told us to yell "Surprise!" when he walked in. The employee walked in and was totally confused when the salesman turned the lights back on and started singing "Happy Birthday". These are just a couple examples of the funny things that go on throughout a typical day at the office...

Mother's Day Excitement

Last Sunday we went to visit my grandmother (who suffers from Alzheimer's) for a Mother's Day brunch. She clearly had no idea why my immediate family, my aunt and uncle and my cousins were joining her, as she asked every ten minutes what we were doing there.  We set up some food and drinks and gathered around a table in a sitting area at her apartment complex; we enjoyed bagels and juice, which has become a Mother's Day tradition for us.  My sister and I were sitting next to my grandmother and my dad was sitting across the table from my grandmother.  After a few minutes, Grandma noticed my father and said he was looking good. She then leaned over to my sister and asked if he was divorced yet because she knew some people for him.  I think my sister just said that he was still married to my mother (who happens to be her daughter). My mom was in another room and my dad did not hear her say that, but my parents have been married for 30 years now so it was a rather funny comment to hear. A little while later, my uncle was sitting across from my grandmother and speaking inappropriately, as he typically does. After hearing my uncle, my grandmother stated, "He didn't talk like that when we were dating." Obviously my uncle and grandmother never dated, but Grandma always find a way to bring dating into a visit. Usually she is asking me or my sisters about our romantic relationships, but this time she seemed to be reminiscing about one of her own.